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It is this concept of themselves as individual decision-makers that blinds at least some Americans to the fact that they share a culture with each other. They have the idea, as mentioned above, that they have independently made up their own minds about
the values and assumptions they hold. The notion that social factors outside themselves have made them "just like everyone else" in important ways offends their sense of dignity.
Americans, then, consider the ideal person to be an individualistic, self-reliant, independent person. They assume, incorrectly, that people from elsewhere share this value and this self-concept. In the degree to which they glorify "the individual" who stands alone and makes his or her own decisions, Americans are quite distinctive. The individual that Americans idealize prefers an atmosphere of freedom, where neither the government nor any other external force or agency dictates what the individual does. For Americans, the idea of individual freedom has strong, positive connotations.
By contrast, people from other cultures regard some of the behavior Americans legitimize by the label "individual freedom" to be self-centered and lacking in consideration for others. Foreigners who understand the degree to which Americans are imbued with the notion that the free, self-reliant individual is the ideal kind of human being will be able to understand many aspects of American behavior and think that otherwise might not make sense. A few of the many possible examples follow:
♦Americans see as heroes those individuals who "stand out from the crowd" by doing something first, longest, most often, or otherwise "best". Examples are aviator Charles Lindberg and Amelia Earhart.
♦Americans admire people who have overcome adverse circumstances (for example, poverty or a physical handicap) and "succeeded" in life. Booker T. Washington is one example; the blind and deaf author and lecturer Helen Keljer is another.
Many Americans do not display the degree of respect for their parents that people in more traditional or family-oriented societies commonly display. They have the conception that it was a sort of historical or biological accident that put them in the hands of particular parents. It is not unusual for Americans who are beyond the age of 22 and who are still living with their parents to pay their parents for room and board. Elderly parents living with their grown children may do likewise. Paying for room and board is a way of showing independence, self-reliance, and responsibility for oneself.
Certain phrases one commonly hears among Americans capture their devotion to individualism: "Do your own thing", "1 did it my way", "You'll have to decide that for yourself", "You made your bed, now lie in it", "If you don't look out for yourself, no one else will", "Look out for number one".
Closely associated with the value they place on individualism is the importance Americans assign to privacy. Americans assume that people "need some time to themselves" or "some time alone" to think about things or recover their spent psychological energy. Americans have great difficulty understanding foreigners who always want to be with another person, who dislike being alone.
If the parents can afford it, each child will have his or her own bedroom. Having one's own bedroom, even as an infant, develops in a person the notion that she is entitled to a place of her own where she can be by herself and notice — keep her possessions. She will have her clothes her toys, her books, and so on. These things will be hers and no one else's.
Americans assume that people have their "private thoughts" that might never be shared with anyone. Doctors, lawyers, psychiatrists, and others have rules governing "confidentiality" that are intended, to prevent information about their client' personal situations from becoming known to others. Americans' attitudes about privacy can be difficult for foreigners to understand. Americans' houses, yards, and even their offices can seem open and inviting, yet, in the Americans' minds, there are boundaries that other people are simply not supposed to cross. When the boundaries are crossed, the Americans' bodies will visibly stiffen and their manner will become cool and aloof.
